Saturday, 3 May 2014

Procrastination & Unnecessary Worry

I procrastinate. I'm currently trying to change this statement to 'I used to procrastinate' (oh the irony). The fact is, I like to be laid back with things. A bit too laid back according to others, and the law. My husband used to take care of things like banking/insurance/bills but as he works away now I'm going through the process of organizing everything to change this and become familiar with these 'mundane' (but highly important) tasks myself.

I also worry. Mainly about official stuff, but also about small simple tasks. I tend to think of myself as happy go lucky and laid back, although my worrying side would seem to contradict this. For at least 10 years I've been practicing 'positivity' and my life has reaped the rewards of this. But this slight worry is so automatic that it hasn't really taken a back seat yet, but at least I can recognize it and change my thoughts. I'm currently doing an application for my baby's first passport. I'm totally legit and so is he, but I still worry about what could go wrong, so I've prepared for every eventuality (actually I can't as the passport office still writes annoying stuff like "it is within our right to ask you to send us further information and documents if we feel it is required"... the buggers).

One example of a simple task in which I find myself a bit panicky, is finding a place to park. The thing is, I know the roads well, I know where the building is, but still, I seem to care more about the (not-so-skillful) driver behind me, worrying that I might add a minute of slight inconvenience to his journey (even though he's been driving as if searching for something in my car's boot - er hello, baby on board!). It starts with a heavy thumping in my chest before I realise what's happening. Really quite pathetic, but like I said, I cannot control it, only recognize it and tell myself to grow a pair and behave.

Another task I seem to dread and put off, is withdrawing money from the ATM with a baby. Get in car, baby in car seat, 2 mins down road baby falls asleep, reach bank, hmm do I leave baby in car with door open? Of course not you fool! Take the baby to the ATM! But he's asleep! So! You need money!.... and it goes on. Then I get back in car with baby and money and it really was no big deal.

So I've done my spring clean, organized my files and bills, got a diary on the go and I'm feeling pretty confident. I really ought to get a calendar out with big clear boxes for me to write future tasks in, but I've been kind of putting that off...

1 comment:

  1. Honestly Lorraine, I totally understand. Fortunately for you, you may not realize this but, With you literally having to do these things on your own, you will, in a very short time, become extremely confident and worry a lot less. All this is adding character and because you've started with a positive attitude you will go far!!